Wait by Russell Kelfer

Sometimes, I have a really hard time waiting. Sometimes it's as silly as waiting for the light to turn green or for Titus to find that perfect place to lift his leg when its freezing outside. 

But Right now I am having a hard time waiting to see if the meds I was put on will work. I know that the Provera worked, Aunt Flow came for her visit. But now I have to wait for almost a month to see if the clomid worked. I'm really hoping it worked, I mean I had almost all the side effects while taking it for the 5 days. But what really bugs me the most is knowing that I will more than likely have to go through this process for a few more cycles/months, which equals more waiting.  

Someone posted this poem on a blog I read and I started to cry. I need to remember that I need to go to Him first. I always follow my own train of thoughts with out saying a prayer. How different would my life be if I gave more to God? Should I just be thankful I have a roof over my head? Is He telling me I'm not ready when I truly think I am? So I just re-read this poem a lot, along with bible verses, to try and learn that waiting could be a good thing. 

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried; 
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied. 
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . . 
And the Master so gently said, "Wait." 


"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply. 
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word. 


"My future and all to which I relate 
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait? 
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign, 
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign. 


"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe, 
We need but to ask, and we shall receive. 
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply." 


Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate, 
As my Master replied again, "Wait." 
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, 
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?" 


He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . . 
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. 
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun. 
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.


"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be. 
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me. 
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint. 
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.


"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.


"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.


"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.


"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.


"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."