Hush Little Puppy

How did my puppy go from this 

To this

Yes that is Titus stretching all 95 LBS of himself across the entire bottom half of our bed.

Tonight I said enough is enough, no more sleeping in our bed. Not only is he far to big but I am ALLERGIC to him. And he is only halfway grown. 

We started off by heading up to bed a little earlier than usual, he was so confused.  He whined for almost a half an hour then I took him out, brought him back upstairs laid him on his bed and told him that that is where he needed to stay. He then whined for another half an hour. Levi was able to fall asleep to it. I just ignored him. Right after 11 he gave up and went to his bed. I hope he makes it all night.

 He was just up and moving, all he did was get a drink walked around the bed, saw that I was still up looked at me with those big beautiful puppy brown eyes, then went back to his bed with a humpf.

 Yes my dog has an attitude. But when you own a Great Dane you have to make sure it stays in check. I have been letting Levi let Titus get away with far to much. At 9 months old Titus can put his feet on Levi's shoulders (who is 6 feet) and kiss him right on the nose. He really is a gentle giant, but he gets excited and cannot control himself sometimes. 

So we have taken our first steps. We will start being more strict with him. No more sleeping in mommy and daddy's bed, no more getting on the couch, no more eating throughout the day, and no more jumping, even if daddy wants hugs. 

For some reason I feel like the bad guy, but someone has to enforce the rules.

*We did not make it all night. Levi let him up at 1:49

Ramblings

You know when you are just sitting there with nothing really on your mind and things just pop up? I was just going through my twitter feed when Diet Coke was mentioned. It got me to thinking that I haven't had one in FOREVER.  And then my mouth started to water just thinking about having one. 

Last year for Lent, I gave up anything carbonated.  Since then I have done a fairly good job at not drinking it. Only at restaurants and what not. But even when out to eat I usually get some type of lemonade. I do however keep Ginger ale in my house. A 12 pack will last both me and Levi over 3 weeks. Now if that were Diet Coke, it would be gone in a mater of days with just me drinking it. 

This got me to think about my mom who would have a 24/7 IV of Dr.Pepper if there were such a thing. And this in turn got me to thinking about all Dr.Pepper she drank while pregnant and breast-feeding both my brothers and myself. Since I have been reading pretty much anything and everything that you ever need to know about having a healthy pregnancy, I was wondering if her drinking so much DP had any type of effects on us. 

I had really bad anxiety while I was younger. I would literally worry myself into migraines in the 2nd grade. Once I started with homeschooling, there was a drastic decrease of those. I still have bad anxiety but I now know my triggers. I can avoid some of them, but others not so much. 

My middle brother has ADHD. At least that is what they thought when he was 4. Sometimes I think he leans more to the higher functioning autistic spectrum  more than anything else. But I'm not a doctor and who am I to say anything. 

My baby brother had to have speech therapy. I think he's the most normal of the three of us. But still I was wondering if they could all be connected to the caffeine intake my momma had while we were in her. And if it can be, should I cut out all caffeine now, while I'm trying to have a baby? I know that there are all kinds of studies out there about this, but a lot of them disagree. Some say it's totally fine others say none at all. And then there are some that say only a certain amount.  

SHEESH

Sometimes I wonder if I should just blacklist everything out there and just listen to my body. But my body is messed up. Can I really listen to it when it can't even tell itself to act the way it should? The way I see it, I will take my prenatal, eat as healthily as possible, and pray for the best.

and all this because someone mentioned Diet Coke, which I might make Levi go get me from McD's. 

Sanctity of Life Sunday

Today is Sanctity of Life Sunday, and I know this is a touchy subject for a lot of people.

 I am pro-life. 

I might step on a few toes here but the way I see it, most (NOT ALL!!!!) but a percentage of abortions are because people don't think before they act. They are only living in the here and now. And then a few weeks later they miss Aunt Flow and head on over to a Planned Parenthood.

 I understand that this is not always the case. I, in fact, know women who have been raped and still chose to keep their babies if not for themselves but for another women who cannot have her own. 

The sad thing is how accepted abortion is today. It seems to be the first thought for teenage girls in an unfortunate circumstance.

 Both my mother-in-law and my own mommy had babies and a young age. And I'm not saying that the thought never crossed their minds, but it makes me think about how different this world would would be if they had made a different choice. My sister-in-law would not be here and have her 3 beautiful babies. And I would not be here, typing this. 

As much as I hate it, I to some degree, understand the women who were victims wanting nothing to to with a baby  that seems to be there only to remind them of such a horrific experience. But the sadness I feel for the terminated baby always outweighs my understanding  for the mom. That baby will never have a first smile, a first laugh, a first step, graduate, or become a parent. There are THOUSANDS of women who will never be able to conceive or carry a baby to full term, who are praying for babies of their own to love hold and to cherish all of the firsts.

Every single baby that is placed in this world is a gift from God, and every heartbeat that stops before its time should be mourned and we should pray from the moms to see their sin and that they may come to Jesus, because only through him will their wrong be forgiven. 

PCOS

I have no idea why, but I have been compelled over the last few days to write about this. I have never kept the fact that I have PCOS a secret. But still, It's one thing just to say it in passing and another to put it out there on a blog for the whole web to see. 

For those of you who don't know, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or PCOS, is a hormonal disorder among women of reproductive age. Both chicks and dudes produce sex hormones, but in different amounts. In girls, the ovaries produce the hormones estrogen and progesterone, and also androgens. These hormones regulate a girl's menstrual cycle and ovulation. Even though androgens are sometimes referred to as "male hormones," every female produces them.In girls with PCOS, the ovaries produce higher than normal amounts of androgens, and this can interfere with egg development and release. I am not the only one in my family who has this syndrome. However, studies have not been able to conclude that it is hereditary. 

 The name of the condition comes from the appearance of the ovaries in most, but not all, women with the disorder to have enlarged and containing small cysts located along the outer edge of each ovary. I had ultra-sounds done while I was in high school and do, in fact, have cysts on my ovaries.

Some other conditions of PCOS are infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods, excess hair growth, acne and obesity. I only remember having a handful of periods (while not on birth control) in my whole life. 

Sometime in my sophomore year my mom had a bunch of different tests done on me. It was then that I was diagnosed and was prescribed birth control to regulate my periods.

 Now this is embarrassing, but I have been having "excess" hair growth since I turned teen(around the same time I had my first period). Mostly on my legs and on my belly under my belly button. If I want perfectly smooth legs, I would have to shave twice a day. I have recently started to notice darker hair under my chin.

 I have been blessed beyond belief with absolutely no acne. Sure I get a zit or two, but never have I ever broken out with tons of them.

 I was also lucky in my younger and teenage life to have parents who liked to keep me active and showed me how to eat right. I'm not saying we were health nuts, but we ate better than most due to my moms PCOS and my dads high everything.

 Since I have moved out of my parents house (with all the yummy food and people who kept me healthy), no longer have my nanny gig, or work at the ice rink. I have gained enough weight to be considered obease.

 That is right, at 5 foot 4 inches the last time I was on a scale I weighed 175lbs.(Levi says I need to subtract a few lbs for my boobs, that always makes me laugh)  Now, I am trying to get more active and started to get back to a more "strict" diet. But it's hard when you don't have people around you to help keep you in line.  I am now  pre-diabetic.

When Levi and I got married I was still on the pill until after he graduated from bootcamp. This means that I have been off of it for a year almost to the day.(his grad date was 1-14-11) This also means that I have only had 1 period   off of the pill. 

Now some women out there would think "whoo-hoo! only 1 a year yippee!" But, by not having the monthly "cleanse" I am more likely prone to blood clots.

Also it kinda puts a damper on the whole baby making thing. Some people will say I am still too young to be thinking about baby making, sure maybe I am a little at 20, but I have always wanted to be a younger mom. I grew up with young parents and loved the fact that they were always there and could participate in everything I was doing. And I want my parents to be able to keep up with my kids.  Also, I know that it could take years to get pregnant. My mother had me at 16. Then it took her 7 years to conceive my brother and she ended up needing "help" with that. 

So in December I had a ton of test done to my blood, all supporting the fact that I do indeed have PCOS. An then at the beginning of this month, I went to see an OBGYN. She told me that it would be stupid to wait if I was ready to have a baby. She gave me a Rx for Provera and Clomid. The Provera forces my body to have a period. The Clomid forces my body to ovulate. Now that might seem to be a pretty easy equation to make a baby, but there is so much more that goes on and I don't really understand all of it. I do know that in April, if I have not yet gotten pregnant, I will be going in for more test to make sure its not just the PCOS that is keeping me from conciving. And at that point, Levi will also have to have testing done to make sure he is not the issue. I have to take Provera for 10 day ( I only have 2 days left of this and have every side effect listed.) Then wait for Aunt Flow which could take up to two weeks to show. On cycle days 5-9 I take the clomid. On day 21 I have to go have blood drawn. Then I wait to see if I have another period. 

So now it is all out there for everyone to see. We have just started our journey that soo many couples have been on before us. I have no idea why I needed to write this. I have never planned to share things like this on our blog, I don't even know how many people read it. But maybe someone out there needs to see it.