Friday, July 27, 2012

OVER IT

On Wednesday, I had a physical. I wanted to talk to my doctor about several things like my seasonal allergies that seem to be every season her in VA, getting new epi-pens, and getting put on metformin, among other things.
The Doc comes in and we start of with my PCOS. He told me that there is no way I was diagnosed with it my freshmen year of high school because I was still developing then. I told him to look up the ultrasounds I had done to see the cysts on the ovaries.
I then asked to be put on metformin, which is a drug used in PCOS patients to help regulate periods without contraceptions. He told me that the only way to regulate them was to be on birth control. I told him that I did not want to be on BC because at this moment I would like to have a child. He then told me that at 20 I should be worrying about other things.
This is when I asked for him to prescribe me the met then I would go talk to an OB as a follow up. Then I left. I didn't get my epis or my allergy meds.
I cried in the car on my way home and it was the first time in a very long time that I felt like someone was treating me like a child.
I have done hours of research and have talked to many many women who have PCOS and are on metformin. I did not just walk in there blinding asking for the stupid drug.
Every time I tried to explain why I wanted it he would cut me off.
Between this and not hearing from my obgyn, I am fed up and over it. I am going to be finding care outside of Quanticos system.
I have grown up a navy brat, and have never in the 18 years that I have been going to Navy clinics/hospitals been treated this bad.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Prayer

Lord, help me deal with the control issue that fuels my need to blame someone for my childlessness.Forgive me. I don't understand why you have allowed my circumstance and why you are not allowing me to have a child, but I know that you are good. You are sovereign. You are wise, compassionate, and merciful.Be my comfort in my question.Help me look beyond my questions and blame to you and to your blessing. 
Amen

~Longing for a Child